Sunday, January 15, 2006

The Jack Factor

I sat with Jack at the Laker game the other day and was reminded of a comment I posted a while back.

Everybody knows that Jack has courtside seats for all home Laker games, but his seats are not next to the Laker bench, they are located on the Visiting Team's side of the Scorer's table. This means that all opposing players who check into and out of the game have to pass before Jack.

The Visiting Coach likewise has to stand near Jack as he directs play on the court. As these players and coaches go about their game business in Jack's vicinity they fall under the effect of his considerable charm and influence. He has been known to give them startling advice on where they might place the ball for best advantage and gives them encouraging suggestions on where and how they might find gainful employment more suited to their talents, or lack of.

Basketball games are often decided in the final seconds of regulation; the other night the Lakers took control and the win with .o8 seconds left on the clock, which means that a point or two either way can determine the winner of the three hour long contest. After careful study and analysis of the scoring patterns of Laker home games, I have determined that in those games attended by Jack, the Lakers tend to win the close ones 3.5 times more often than when Jack is not there.

His contribution to the Lakers is undeniable. The important concern for the NBA, however, is whether or not Jack's income falls under the salary cap mandated by the league.


At January 20, 2006 2:13 PM, Blogger Hold Me, Please? said...

After perusing your blog I've realized that there are people who are even sadder inside than me. I stand in solidarity with you, my depressed friend.


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